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No matter what he or she says about the innocence of such a relationship, "nothing good can come out of it," notes Kaye.
A major part of marriage involves trying to fulfill your partner's needs while also making sure your own needs are met.
It will strengthen your relationship because you'll have a saner version of "you" to bring to the "us" equation.
Spend some time looking at your relationship and figure out which parts work and which parts don't. Then create a plan of how you might get from point A (your current reality) to point B (that perfect day).
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" moments are the things that lead to relationship sabotage. Almost uniformly, they accurately predicted about 50 percent. But if you are stuck, it's your fault and not your spouse's," says Bowman.
Instead of carrying grudges around forever, torch them. Then they were asked to estimate the chances that they would get divorced. The problem with this statistic is that, if there is no perceived risk of failure, no "work" is put into maintaining the relationship—until it's suddenly faltering. Don't forget to make an effort to keep your romance alive. Bowman suggests that you work on it a little at a time as a way to notice what your spouse does right (since these are the things you'd likely eulogize him with, not the negatives). That fact is, "you are not stuck; you have choices.
Don't find yourself in a situation where you realize that you could have done more…when it's already too late. Three of them: Do nothing and remain miserable; face your fears and try to save your marriage; ask for a divorce." Choose to either be married or not. And wake up every morning and make that choice again.
The surest path to happiness is knowing that you are not a helpless damsel in distress, but rather a woman who can make her own decisions.
Infidelity is an enormous hurdle for a marriage to overcome, but just ending the affair is not enough, says Kaye.